6.3.01 Hadn't Gone That Way By: Jennifer Ly bka Paradise

With the pain indulging me, I'm drowning in the tears I've cried,
Tell me when I've bled enough to make up for my lies.
I don't know what I was thinking then, I guess I just went blind,
And even though what's done is done, we still can't put it behind.

Drowning in apologies, I know I'm in way over my head.
Thinking back to what I did, oh how I was misled.
I never knew how much you meant until you were long and gone.
All that time I spent just waiting there for a chance to prove it wrong.  

I see you in every thing I look at and I feel you in every thing I do,
The echoes of your laughter reflect in every thought of you.
Every place we use to be and everything we said,
I still cherish all the little things despite all this dread.  

More than anything, I wish you could understand it and somehow say that it's okay.
Even if what I did was unforgivable, without an acceptance, it won't ever go away.
And maybe you don't want to kiss it … a sullen sweet goodbye.
Maybe you're afraid that if you trusted me again, I'd feed you some more lies.  

I was going to paint you a rainbow with all the colors I could find,
I was planning to give you all the riches of the world and treat you with sweet wine.
And if I couldn't do any of that, I was going to be your slave,
Anytime you'd needed something, twice more would be what I gave.  

And for once in my life, my heart hurts in a way that words can't even describe,
You use to be a part of me and now there's only emptiness inside.
And the tears they flow like I've never been able to cry,
And you know that without you, I'm slowly starting to die.  

I wonder if you'll ever look at me again and if I'll ever have the chance to turn away,
Remembering how you always knew how to make me smile, you always made my day.
Guess I should have realized how lucky I was before I let it fade away,
But it's too late to go on questioning, cuz these things hadn't gone that way.